Thoughts of a Sprite

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Disgust

He evokes an utter disgust
That radiates from the core.
Because of his sickening lust
He violated her naive purity

Death to the molester of innocence
Castration of his manhood
He is not human for his desires
Desecrated the very ground he stood

The repercussions of his decisions
Cost the security of trust for a lifetime
What started out one little girl’s being,
Has become the terror of one woman’s past

Constant fear and questioning
Stem from his distant perversions
Loathing of herself, depressing
Her image forever tainted by his stain

Never pure or clean again
Forever raped of her sexuality
For now it is just an act
A job to be performed

And always in the shadows,
the deepest corner of her mind
The memories of his intrusions
Live, they haunt her very being.

shes_a_sprite @ 3:44 PM.

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Monday, April 18, 2005

yeah

I really don't feel like updating right now. I had a really, really, really hard test today, and I have my final coming up. Classes are letting out soon for summer, not that this means much for mwa... I get a break for a week, then I start Biology.... yeah!

One day, (perhaps by the age of 85) I will have all of my school finished, and hopefully I won't be too old to use it...

I am enrolled in a spanish class through work, which is kinda cool! I get to go with muh Bonnie Ray, and one of the cool cops, Kevin... this should be fun! One side note, we do have to behave because chief is also signed up. But it should still be loads of fun! And a good refresher for me, as I have not had any spanish in like 10 years, and I have to take it at UF, some new fangled requirement (BULLSHIT)... but hey, I will be able to speak two languages (hopefully,) or I will be crying because it pulled my gpa down... only time will tell.

Well, things are going pretty good in the whole dating area. I am trying superhard not to be Jaded, and push him away, or hold the mistakes of every man I have ever had to deal with, against him. I am trying to let him make his own mistakes, and being a man that should not be too hard. Heh, sorry I could not resist. Anyhow, just taking it slow and we shall see where it leads. I might invite him to the birthday dinner which my mom has decided she wants to cook a steak dinner. I would just asume have everyone meet at a restuarant, and that way I could invite who I want, everyone pay your own way kindof deal, and then have cake at her house, just family, the next day or something, or just watch a movie with mom to celebrate the next day.

Anyhow, I am about done for tonight, I will be glad to get home at a reasonable time. This schedule is catching up to me! My supervisor said she could really tell a difference in me, and I can feel it! Summer will be a better schedule, I will have classes Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday morning, but I will get out at a reasonable time, and should be able to be to work by no later than 11, which puts me getting off at 7 pm. No more of this getting home at 10 -1030 at night shit, and having to be back here at 8 in the morning. that makes for a really long week, especially when I have to close the bar on Friday nights.

Well, I think that is it for now my fellow bloggers. I must clear off the desk and head to the house. It is funny, for as long as I put updating off, it took me all of 10 minutes to type this. Good night all!

shes_a_sprite @ 8:19 PM.

1 comments

Rachel said...

Yeah for someone who didn't feel like updating you seemed to have done a good job. :)

4:55 AM

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Thursday, April 14, 2005

Too Blonde to think up a title right now!

I had a most relaxing weekend. I got to spend most of Saturday afternoon with my mom, I treated her to lunch at Friday's, then went shopping. I got Bonnie's birthday finally, and took care of Sammie's while I was out too. Found a couple of cute shirts on sale for me too!

Then later in the evening, the new Beau came over for dinner, watched a movie, played some CON. It was like the date that never ended man. He stayed over, was quite the gentleman, Draco made sure of that. He positioned himself right in the middle of the bed. I had to laugh. We then got up at, Gulp, 0600 in the morning, to go walk his dog. We walked about three miles, a nice little trek down to the lake, and then to a park on the lake, where the dog, Sully ran around and tried to eat everything. Having worked up quite an appetite, we went to breakfast at IHOP, where I attempted to eat a double decker BLT. I say attempted because it so did not work, that bugger was HUGE! We went back to my house to wait till the temp rose a bit, played some more CON.

I had mentioned that I wanted to do something outside, but that my outdoor activities were limited due to the knee situation. He came up with a really great plan! We and played Disc Golf. It was super fun, and there was no running involved. I am a wimp though cause my arm is still sore and it is like 4 days later. It is just like golf with tees, and greens, but instead of a hole at the end, there is a basket. You use different sized Frisbees, and they are even called putters and drivers. I had a really good time! It was like the never ending date. But all good things come to an end, and he headed back to his house that afternoon. I got some sun, and some exercise and got to know him a little better!

I wish my week would have gone as well as my weekend! It has been a really shitty week at work so far. It seems that everyone is in a terrible mood, which rubs off! On top of this I am trying my damnedest to quit smoking and that just makes it that much worse! And I have had a headache for going on three days now. Everyone snaps and is on edge, even when you are all smiles and jokes, everyone is nit picky, there must be something in the water. I can't wait until Friday night is over with! Tuesday night was pretty good, the new Beau came over for dinner, and I assisted with his taxes. He did not stay long as the previously introduced Sully was cooped up inside all day. He treats his dog like a kid, even calls him son. I think it is kinda cute! No where near as spoiled as Draco though!

I have about a ton of homework to do for tonight, but I really don’t mind. It is a welcomed break from work. Sometimes I just hate this place, and that is all I shall say.

I have been having a serious case of writers block lately, I have started several pieces, that just come to a screeching halt. I think part of it may be a lack of motivation. I dunno what causes it, but I wish I knew the cure. I feel very unproductive.

I got my character back up to a level 37… almost her previous level. I know, I know, I am such a dork. Well that in a nut shell is all that is happening in my life right now! I will be glad to get a break from school even if it is not but a week. My supervisor told me today, that she could physically see a difference in me, as a result of stressing and just staying too busy. I think I will try to relax this weekend, just kindof chill in and study.

Well I am going to leave you with this, and hope that inspiration strikes soon!

shes_a_sprite @ 2:38 PM.

1 comments

Rachel said...

Well I am glad you had a good weekend, hopefully this one will be just as good to make up for that shitty week.

Don't worry about the block, we all get it sometimes.

10:36 PM

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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I am going to throw myself off the bell tower at school, or drop out one of the two... j/k

Remember the lowtide analogy, and the sandbar snag???? well it is one of those really lowtides. I have been unable to put together a school schedule, that will work with my primary job schedule, and I know I am trying not to sweet the small stuff, but when it comes to school, I stress..... At this rate I will be 45 when I graduate. Anyways, I found a class that would work, but it is about a mile+ from the building where my first class will be located, and I am not sure I can make that treck in 15 minutes.... anyhow I am just blowing steam!

Good news, Had a date the other night, and he called today. :) Today would have been day three, and I was about to write him off, but I figure he was playing the three day rule... or waiting to see if I would blow up his phone... hehe I did not... but I was happy he called. I am not sure why guys think it is necessary to wait three days to call, that is just silly. Boys, if you are interested in the woman, call her. Ladies, if he doesn't call the first couple of days just wait.... DON'T call him, don't give in... be strong, if they want to play games, win!

Anyhow, he is hot, and he has a good personality... he plays champions so that was a bonus.... but he does have one strike. We came back to my house after going to the Seven Mary Three concert, and played some champions... where he saved over my LEVEL 39 Ranger.... OMG I was sooooooooooooo pissed, but I so tried to play it cool, it was so hard! I was just like, I am gonna be in trouble, becuase my roomies charecter, which was a level 38 Shamen... (this big lizard thing, it is really cool) He could so tell I was mad, and even said, "it's okay, I would be pissed too" I was just like I'm not pissed.... but we have a lot in common, and he is soooooooo eye candy to boot! He does not watch tv, neither do I, but he does love movies, and so do I, and we both play CON, and he loves football. Well fellow bloggers, I shall update later!

shes_a_sprite @ 6:58 PM.

2 comments

Rachel said...

Sorry about the frustration with the conflict between work and school. Hopefully it will fall into place it always seems to work out that way.

Sounds like you have met your match. ;)

9:38 PM

Larry said...

No jumping from the tower and no quitting. Low tide only last a little while, before too much longer you will be back afloat.
We men are very simple creatures. We have to have a set rule to follow, if we allow deviations from said rule out world falls apart. Three days it the rule established by the man council and will be the only one we will entertain until the council approves another rule that modifies the original.
My poor lizard guy!

12:12 AM

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Monday, April 04, 2005

Just a quick thought or two...

I have been thinking, and I have come to the conclusion that life really is like the ocean. It is vast, and everchanging. There are hightides, some higher than others, and there are lowtides, again some lower than others. It can be as calm as can be, flat water as far as the eye can see, and in a flash a storm can arise that tosses the angry waters about in a fury. The sandbars can be an unexpected catch, while the undertow can be life threatening sometimes, and at other times the waves are as gentle as the lul of a mothers rocking chair. It is home to so many various creatures, some harmless, and some ferosious.

Life is so very unpredictable. You can be a rock bottom one day, and the next, something happens, the sun comes out and there is once again hope for a calm beautiful sea. It can change in the blink of an eye, and for better or worse, you just have to roll with the waves. Life truly is as fluid as the very blood in our veins.

Change is good, Change will set you free, or drive you mad if you fight it. I have found that rather than fight an aweful undertow, you should float on the surface for a while.

Yesterday is over, so why worry about it? Tommorow has yet to come, but today, today is here, every today is a gift, and this is why they call it the present.

If I have evoked in you any thought at all, then I have achieved my goal, or at least one of them. I am still working on living each day as if it were my last, not stressing the small stuff, trying not to be jaded towards everything that has testosterone, I am still trying to go with the flow and not fight change. It is inevitable. I am still working on quitting, and I think I am doing pretty good. I will always stress my grades, it is my motivation to do better, my drive to strive for the best, and my refusal to settle for anything less. But I don't have to stress the small stuff. What is done is done, I still fight my past, but I think I am winning. I still have nightmares, but they don't seem quite so scary anymore.

I think I would like to learn to be more laid back, perhaps some of the knots in my back would go away... wouldn't that be grand? My goal for now is to roll with the waves, to quit fighting the undertow, and accept the fact that there are ups and downs, and they can happen all in one day, Life is fluid, so I guess it is good that I can swim right? (hehe)

Kay that is all for me for now, I must take my happy butt to bed... Night fellow bloggers.

shes_a_sprite @ 11:10 PM.

1 comments

Rachel said...

Yes it sounds like you are much happier and this brings a smile to my face. Cheers.

2:22 AM

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